Life Problems · Love Problems

Hey guys

I know I’ve been gone for a long while. I haven’t had much to say and I’ve been busy…
I haven’t slept for a few days now. You know how when you get so tired that everything seems clearer and you feel like your brain is working, much better than the rest of your body? And you just kind of .. realise how totally useless and pointless and gross you are? .. It sucks.
Especially when you realise it while thinking about someone you love.
“i love ___ so much”
Tiny voice in your head: ” ah yeah but look at yourself, they are gorgeous and funny and smart and perfect ..and you.. well.. you a gross pile of crap that they have to tolerate everyday because they feel guilty about not loving you back and giving you anything in return for what you give them”
Sometimes I think I should just never talk to him, pull off the band aid and let him get on with life. But I can’t. I need him too much to say goodbye.

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