Love Problems

Day 14

14 days. Two whole weeks since the initial horrific question I asked Roy. He’s gone now. I really don’t think he’s coming back. I mean he deleted his messenger account, sends a pretty clear message. He still hasn’t blocked me on whatsapp though. Which is nice.. for bad reasons that confirm his assumption of me. Though to be fair I wasn’t stalking him untill AFTER he accused me of it. So… I guess I’m taking the low road. He’s been online a few times. I feel like.. maybe he’s checking up on me. To see how active I am… I am aware that this is completely delusional but it’s better than the alternative – break down and cry at everything.
E.g. I watched the amazing Spiderman 2, he looks like Roy. Every cute scene made my insides hurt and ache and twist into a painful mess. But I kept my shit together.. I think.

It still really hurts and I’m not sure it’s going to go away. I keep thinking about what would happen if I turned up at his house. I’d probably be cursed out and humiliated and end up walking infront of a bus.
ADHD(i might need a better name for him) is keeping my mind busy in the mean time. He’s nice and stuff.. I attempted to show more cleavage earlier but I really don’t think it worked. I got no hug. But I did get a bro-fist.. I think he might think I’m bisexual now.. I’d kiss a girl, anything above the waist seems fine with me.. does that count as bisexual?

I should quit while I’m ahead. It seems my feelings get totally fucked over when I like people so I’m just going to take the early exit from the road heading for pain town. Safe and boring always has been my choice after all.


One thought on “Day 14

  1. Sadly some things just aren’t meant to be the reality we see. I learned that each person has a certain image about someone, whether too high or too low and sometimes we try to push what we want and or see onto the current situations and sometimes it doesn’t go very well.

    I have no idea if that made any sense, it sounded better in my head. Lol


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