Love Problems

Things I’m failing at – Roy

He talked to me again today. For a constant hour and a half.
It was.. nice. Though I wish it hadn’t been. I’m not good this… The friend zone thing.
If it was happening to someone else I’d tell them to delete them, block them. Ignore them forever because they’re obviously not the worth the time you’re going to waste. I know I should. But I can’t do it.
Every day he doesn’t talk to me that little spark I have fades away.
It’s funny how brightly it shines after a sentence.
I don’t know what I’m doing. It’s so hard to do anything meaningful at all. I’m good at sitting with people. But other than that I just .. have nothing to gain.

He told me I should get some games – because they’re good. I said I’d try. But I won’t. There’s no point.
Yes, I’ll get a console, some games that you like so that I can play them by myself and be reminded that you don’t want me. We won’t play together. We can’t. It would upset me. I Love him a lot and there’s no way I wouldn’t treasure any time we spend doing things together. I guess I could try, I could smile and laugh, and call him an idiot and pretend I just want to be friends.. but it would be a terrible terrible lie.
But I can’t really do anything else.. I can’t erase him from my life of my own will. He has to choose that and I’m not going to tell him to do it.  I can’t fix any of this and I can’t wish on a shiny flying star and have everything my way. But I’m not going to do the right thing and be done with it all.
I can’t.

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