Life Problems

Hot chocolate and Secrets

So, I went back to the pub. It was short notice so I went a little later with Sarah. 9pm ish.  Just us and another four people. Another girl was meant to be coming but hadn’t arrived yet.
So I was bought a hot chocolate, everyone being broke is a bit Crappy. So I was excited about a free non-alcoholic drink.
It was topped with a crap-ton of cream and as I was carefully carrying it back to the table when I walked past a guy sat across from what I assume was his girlfriend.
“give us some of that sweetheart”
Feeling generous I kind of turned and offered him the spoon, “I scavenged this, but there’s too much cream anyway”
And he cracked a weird looking smile and said “i was talking about you”
I just kind of stared at him.. I don’t really expect people to talk to me like that ever. I eventually managed to turn away and just scuttle back to my table “yeah I doubt that”
I don’t get why or how people manage to say things like that to strangers.
The most I ever get is “you’re pretty” and then they move on to someone who actually is, I’ve never really had anyone say anything like that when they’re a complete stranger…

Moving on a little it’s 10:30pm and the girl (let’s call her.. Britney, it’s the only B name I can think of) still hasn’t turned up, she messages me and apologises and says she’s not coming, then explains that she came, had a panic attack and then turned around and went home.
So obviously I’m extremly confused. I think back to the night before when she just took off for no reason, I thought it was because she liked ADHD and we were making jokes about Sarah shagging him but I don’t ask, I just ask general questions to gauge the situation.
“that thing you said about Mick Liking that girl at the shop and that maybe it was me, and that’s terrifying”
Oh.. OH OKAY, so I, being a total fucking dick who doesn’t understand basic human feelings, think that she means she doesn’t want him to like her.

“well I was just kidding, and I think he’s going out with Alice”.

Fucking moron. I feel so bad about how I interpreted what she’d said.
“oh… Okay.. I had feelings.. okay”

Fuck.. holy fuck shit. I’m a total asshole.
So I try and correct my awful mistake, she says she crying, won’t come to the pub, probably won’t hang out with us next time.

So I ask Sarah for advice, I have no fucking clue what I’m saying even though I totally understand what she’s feeling.
We simultaneously offer to go see her because frankly she obviously needed a hug. And I really needed to make her feel better for myself (sounds selfish but it’s true I wouldn’t have been able to sleep if I had just left her to cry).
So we walked all the way across town to meet her and just stood in the middle of the street and hugged her for about 5/10 minutes. Eventually she started laughing and wasn’t crying so much so I think she’s a little less unhappy. We must have talked to her for about an hour before she had to go home. Then I spent another hour and a half walking around outside until all the lights went out.
But dude.. I just really like to stick my head up my own ass don’t I?

Forever misinterpreting x

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