Friend Problems · Love Problems

Code Blue – day 5

Hey guys.
So I haven’t posted since the earlier hours of yesterday morning (basically 2 days ago)
I just wanted to make a quick post to update you all on my current mental crisis…s… Whatever the plural is for that.

David – has still not spoken to me, though I have seen some activity so I’m still thinking I’m considered an asshole.
What can I really do other than tell him he’s wrong to think life isn’t worth living and to get some more proffesional help? Nothing, I’m an ignorant fuck tard who can’t even help myself, so how am I supposed to help someone with problems worse than mine?

Roy – has been messaging me everyday for the last 5 days. This is odd behavior but I realized that a few days ago I made some posts on my facebook public. So that Sarah’s mum could facebook stalk me, to ease her mind. Maybe she wasn’t the only one doing so… Not that I’ll ever know.

It feels good to have my best friend back a little though. I don’t care so much if I can’t have him the way I want to. As long as I have an apron string to clutch at I’ll be a little less likely to have a mental breakdown randomly in public.
And yes, this sounds like an exaggeration and I wish that it was, but I’ve come so close (more than once) to just sitting in the middle of the street and bursting into uncontrolled sobbing.

Anyway I feel a little less lost now.
Forever on edge x


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