Just when I thought I couldn’t feel any worse..
Nothing has happened, just to ease your minds. I just feel worse, every reflective surface I pass by whispers horrible things to me. Ever food I contemplated eating tells me mean jokes.
I .. haven’t really experienced this before. I’ve never been unable to change something about myself. I can’t fix anything and thus I can’t do anything either.
I was feeling okay, I ate .. a yogurt and stuff before my long journey to Southampton. And packed two snacks into my bag for the day. I ate them and then my snapchat started to get spammed, I had to reply and the more I”ve been looking at myself the more I hate everything about me.
I was going to buy food on the way home. But decided not to, so gave my money to a friend.
I don’t want to eat anything, I’ve been trying to give away my snacks even though I haven’t been eating them anyway, just so I don’t even have the option.
I want a new face, or body or new everything. I feel yucky and the more I try and look right to me, I look weirder and wronger and just.. no.. just no.
Forever sinking my mental ship x