I feel crappy.
I have work tomorrow, and I’m afraid I won’t do well. I want to though.
I feel Crappy because, Cid. The guy I like that lives… Not too far from me.. he was talking earlier, I guess he was sad and stuff and he basically said he doesn’t actually like me at all. But he said it after he’d ranted about how he wanted a 9-5 job and a house with a Wife and kid.. then just “I don’t like you”
Like.. he wanted to meet up, but it would just be for sex and that would be the end of it. It really really hurt. I kept a good face up though. “it’s fine” “im fine” smiles and emojis and everything..
This is my life.. endless heart ache and agrevation and hopes that are just much too high. Why can’t I have that stuff?. Why can’t I get the lost prince who wants to marry me and stay together in a boring house and live boring lives and just be happy and bored…?
I’m being so patient. And it’s killing me.
Like really really really killing me.
Forever on the ledge x