Life Problems

New Years Steel

Hey guys.
Happy new year! A few days late I know but I’ve been busy.

Many of you have begun the fantastic ritual of New Years Resolutions.
And I suspect most of you have failed already. . Or at the very least cheated or are slipping.

My new years resolution is to Be Braver.
To occasionally do things that I would never ordinarily do. Anything from talking to a boy -to- ordering food I’ve never had.

This is not the resolution I’ve told my friends. I told them I was going “to continue to be awesome”. But if you know me, you know they know shit all about my spiral of distressed depression. Thus! I wanted to keep this resolution to “myself” And I guess you guys.

I’m a coward. Not my words. Carls words actually. But not in conjunction with anything that I have placed it with.
I actually am highly cowardly.
There’s a lot of things that I can’t bring myself to do just purely from the thought that ‘it might go wrong and I’ll be terribly embarrassed’.

So as first act of RESOLUTION.
I invited Carl (my manager and crush of the past 4/5 months) to watch star wars with me and my friend.
He said no. Because he is already going to watch it a second time.

But hey! I tried right! I would never have done that. I’m suprise in all honesty that I did do that. I didn’t choke.. I probably turned red or got a stress rash but it wasn’t so bad.
I tried and that’s the point. Things haven’t gone my way very often and I’m almost certain they never will. But if I don’t try I won’t know and I’m done not knowing.

Let’s do life this year my friends x

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