So I should probably start with yesterday.
I woke up, I went to work. I left lemonade. I had a Chai Latte – Brave acts complete.
And thats around where I left things In my last post I think.
I got home and …waited. I’ve decided I hate waiting. Katie wanted to have dinner with me and I was hardly going to say no to a free dinner.. I’ll have to pay her back on Friday or something. And that was good. Then we went to the pub and I guess that was good too… maybe… I don’t know. I didn’t really have fun. I just pretended everything was hilarious. Like I do most days we end up there. But I just really wanted to be at home and curl up and pretend the world was burned out and dark.
She told me something about Joey though. He’s “given up”/”had enough” of that pretty girl he was sort of with but not really. So he’s ignoring her. So apparently I should “get in there” while I have the chance..The thing is.. That girl was like… super super beautiful. I don’t look anything like that. And I already gave up. Any further thoughts on the matter just push me into a darker place and I’ve been pretty buried the last few days as it is.
So my conclusion as far as this new information goes it to just continue on as if I hadn’t heard it.
On to today.
I woke up to texts (well just the one) from Nat and that put me in a good ish mood. Feel all the special. Even if I didn’t wake up till an hour after it was sent. Ops SORRY DON’T HATE ME 💙.
and then I went down stairs and I had the fantastically upbeat melodrama of Maroon5 playing on my ipod. #FavouritOfTheWeek
Then it got to about 12 and I just stopped being happy. I wasn’t really anything.. not sad… not hurt.. just empty feeling. Which ended up with sadness around an hour ago. 8:45.
I just want to sleep, curled up. On a big sofa. I like sofas. This is something else I’ve decided.
With a blanket and my headphones up high…
Forever clouded x