Life Problems

Drama of the Mellow Kind and Down Hill.

So hey.
I’m in bed. It’s way comfy!
I spent four hours on shop floor today.. my legs hurt from all the bending.

So I’m 99% sure that Carl is avoiding me.. in the sense of he’s changed when he has his lunch breaks. But he still usually pops his head in through the door and says hi I guess.
Today it was “where’s my lemonade!?”
And “why did you give them to us anyway”
And “’re strange” when I told him I just had extra of them and thought why not…
He’s not wrong though.

Point of the day number two.
I almost died a little when I went to switch jobs. I had to go ask him what I was meant to be doing .. “OH yeah you’re me..uh.. mine arn’t you”
“….yuh huh… 😍”
I was happily dazed for at least half an hour.

Point of the day #3.
5:50 – deserted shop. Just me and him.
“Jay..? Can I ask you something?”
Me- “Uh …sure?”
“I’ve been debating this for a couple of days now…”
Me-” O_______________________O.. right…”
“Well… there’s been some gossip around shop and I was just wondering if you knew if any of it was true”

Yep… that’s the closest I’ve got to someone I like asking me out in the last 6 years.. no where. Zero of the places. Stabbed in the heart part of the brain because.. hello. Idiot.

Anyway it turns out some Nat and her Ex stuff is going around work. I didn’t know any of it and yet apparently he’s blaming me for it. Wish It had been me. He doesn’t deserve anything after how he’s been to her.

During this explanation of events Carl says some stuff that Backs up things that Nat had said to me about If Carl and me dated he’d lose his job or I would or be relocated or something.
It’s not like I didn’t believe her I just hopped she was wrong heh..
So… that’s him out.
Back to despair…

Forever wanting what I can’t have x


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