Life Problems · Love Problems


I felt better.
For a flicker of moments.
Just a couple.

I was at work early. In for 7:52 i think.. AM. i do not like mornings.
I sat down at my till and mulled around for a few minutes. And I was staring blankly out the window when Carl came down and waved and said GOOD MORNING.
And I just sort of turned and waved half confused. And he wandered off down towards the front door (away from me). Then he waved again and  he was like “I’M COMING BACK IN A SECOND” to which I just sort of raised and eyebrow and said “Kay…………” not realizing we were doing this sort of group meeting thing we do sometimes… and he kept talking to me through it, making unnecessary direct conversation and smiling …god he’s pretty when he smiles… and just being cute.

Then it was just the occasional stare throughout my short three hours.
And then I went to sign out.
You have to duck through the door into the warehouse to get to the phone.
I saw him in there moving stuff around and I figured I’d just leave him too it.
So I did my call for sign out.
And after a couple of seconds i heard “oh, hello” from behind me.
So I lied “uh Hi. . Didn’t see you there..” and then held the door open while he squeezed down the side of cages and such.
He stayed by the door while I pushed the code button. And someone must have been talking to him on the other side “just a second…. Thanks Jae…uh.. i’ll see you… in tomorrow?..”
“Yeah..*apethetic nod*”
“tomorrow it is then”
“Okay…Bye ”
And then I ran away
Double shift tomorrow.

Half of its with Nat so it might be less or more depressing.. we shall see how we feel by afternoon.

Oh and my point at the big ing got sort of lost there. I almost cracked up when I looked at one of my coworkers and imagined him doing panda ears with his hands. (it’s a thing we do to make fun of Carl. But I still consider it cute).
The second point of better was when I was talking to Nat she told me something Carl had said to her trying to come up with a code and it just sounded like talkng about massive dicks. So we were listing ways it could sound so very wrong.

I’m drowning in the D.

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