It’s been a long time.
I’m thinking about it and you know something?..
So far it doesn’t seem all that worth it.
Sure it’s not so bad. It’s had its okay moments but ..mostly it’s been a huge pile of shit.
7 years of mild happiness
Followed by 13 years of entrapment, mental, verbal and occasionally physical abuse.
And 4 years of uncomfortable none – recovery.
To just sit here and be pushed so much further into hating these people I have to call family.
They are nothing but a constant annoyance. They are litrally of no value.
All they ever do is complain or monologue or tell me what to do.
Back in the second beginning – when I returned to the blog’o’sphear. Because of Ray.
I was crying. Uncontrollable. I-cant-breath i-feel-like-im-dying sobs.
You know what my mum did?
She came in.. sat on my bed… and told me to clean my room.
I don’t know what I’m still doing here.. in this place. This crap shoot of a town. With crap shoot family and crap shoot humans everywhere.
Everything is falling apart and I don’t think I can hold myself together alone anymore.