Three hours till I’m almost a 1/4 of a century old.
I feel detached, tired, my arm hurts… and it’s probably going to rain.
I feel like no one would come. Even if I didn’t cancel. Like it would just be me and my sister under a garden umbrella, swimming in mud and choking on bbq smoke while burgers burn. ..
Actually that sounds better than what I expect to happen to be honest.
I also kind of don’t care. Like.. I care that I don’t care..
I mostly just want to sleep.
.. think it’d be rude of me to cancel and just not talk to anyone ever again?