I remember that time when things where…sunshine lolly pops and rainbows da da da de.
And I felt like my insides where ripping because… it means nothing. It’s nothing. It can’t always end that way. Shut up.
And life was so empty… yeah… it was..
I don’t know what to tell you. It’s a lot of effort sometimes. Listening to the voice that wants you down and unable to cope with the world. It’s easy to just slip back so far that nothing feels like it will ever be okay no matter how much better you felt the day before. No matter how soundly you slept last night.
Just keep going. It’s just one slip. I let the darkness wash over me for a moment but it will be gone in the morning. Every extra day of sanity is a day of great achievement..
I think I’m broken. He asked me why I would and I told him I liked him. As soon as the words were out It went quiet and numb inside my head. Abnormally empty in the place there’s usually fluttering in these situations. I must have killed the butterflies a while back. Smothered them with ‘sense’. Blew the dust off their wings and decided I’d had enough. Blown out a light or whatever other cliché you can think of.
Basically .. I guess I spoke too soon. Or implied too much in those words… that’s going to be awkward.