So I’ve been trying to write this post for a couple of days now… I’ve felt I haven’t had much to say or that I’m not being as ‘sharing’ as I have been in previous months..
I don’t know what to tell you or I just don’t see the point in any of this lately… I have been constantly reminding myself that this blog is for me. Not you.
And as nice as it is that I have so many people that read and like and sometimes comment on my life, I shouldn’t edit myself, quiet or force the posts out for the sake of it.
Let’s face it. If I have nothing to say then there’s no point in me making a post about how much I like costa hot chocolate or how great it is to have feet.
I’ve changed a lot in the last couple of years and i want this blog to prove that too my future self. To have down everything that scares me, annoys me, makes me angry or sick or things that make me so over joyed that I have no choice but to share them.
I am not in the business of lying to myself and I refuse to ignore and bottle up any truths that I have about where I currently sit in life.
So. Now that I have set myself straight, this is how my week has been.
AWFUL. food poisoning is litrally the worst thing I have ever encountered (if that’s what it is) it’s been almost a week now and almost everything I’ve had has made me want to vomit.
I have not been okay. on an epic level. I have been genuinely so empty and void of any kind of ‘fucks to give’ that I’m suprised I’ve managed to not alienate myself from anyone that has spoken to me in the last 6 days.
I saw Druggy this week for an evening. It wasn’t so bad but it wasn’t fun either. being dead inside has its advantages when you have to spend time with someone that you’d really rather pretend didn’t exist. But I got to watch ‘when marnie was there’ so that leveled out the boredom at least.
The last two days however I’ve just been at work feeling sick to my stomach..toes..knees …elbows. Just violantly ill really. wishing I could go home and lay in bed and sleep. in a twist of events our store manager is gone. fired/quit/under investigation. so Carl might be back to take over. I can look foward to making another human uncomftorble enough to believe I would date-rape-drug a cake again. Yay. . .
I need to go to bed. 6am start.
Always moping the floor x