Life Problems · Love Problems

Search and Rescue

(Inside joke with myself here) 

But not entirely unrelated to topic.

I’ve been thinking. about Carl. 

I keep sifting through all the things we’ve done and stuff he’s said and ways he’s looked and I guess I’ve been hoping I would find something that tells me that if he came back …or if he didn’t… that i’d stand some kind of chance at getting to be more than work  acquaintances etc.. but I’m pretty sure I’m lying to myself. Or that I’m remembering it wrong.

We were upstairs and not alone a couple of other people were up there.. my music had turned itself on in my pocket and he semi-complained about it 

“is your phone going off?” 

SO I rummaged in my pockets and behold my ipod had turned on

“Oh. no, sorry it’s just my ipod. It does that a lot” 

“Oh, okay it was annoying me” 

SO I was switching it off off and I saw the time. 5 too the hour and thus Time to get to work. So I remember getting up and packing away my stuff and he just looked sad suddenly 

“I didn’t mean you had to leave” 

I remember being kind of suprised that he was like that and just kind of laughing and looking at him funny 

“I know.. but it’s 5 too so I have to go now..” 

AND him glancing at the clock behind him 

“Oh right”

The way I remember it he still looked sad or disappointed but I’m having trouble believing that’s what happened.. Even if it was he was probably just worried he’d offended me or that I was being weird or something. … I don’t know…. oh well I suppose it doesn’t matter.. I just wish I could find an old post to prove I’m not totally insane..

Stalking, not stalking x

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