Do you ever feel like your not really friends with your friends?
Like youre at their house and it’s fun I guess but you feel.. separate like there’s a little bubble around you that stops you from connecting with anyone else.
You can smile and be friendly and kind and talk and laugh but it never really comes from that little place in your chest where you think your soul should be?
I should clarify before I start that I don’t always feel totally isolated from these people. Usually it’s easy and genuine and relaxing to hang out.
Tuesday night wasn’t like that. It was all forced and tired and uncomftorble. . For me.
I don’t know what was different.
I think I’m just having an internal melt down again. I’m having three teeth out on Saturday morning so who wouldnt be having a crisis of selfish anxiety?
I don’t know. Stuff feels all wrong and odd. And I keep day dreaming nightmares again. I need to chill.